a personal revolution

Today, I washed a pair of my socks for the first time in over a year.

I know that sounds terribly disgusting but it actually isn't- I hadn't worn the socks but twice or three times and for no longer than thirty minutes each time.

These socks directly correlate the amount of true-blue-pushing-myself-body-movement I've given myself in the entire fourteen months of living here in Cambodia.

And these past ten days, I've worn them four times and pushed myself to a sweaty, messy limit each time.  And those other days? I mostly exercised in my undies inside my house, sans-socks, but still sweaty and messy those times too.

I'm having a revolution of sorts. A personal revolution.

I have felt it coming on for a few months now (really, a few years if we consider all the yo-yo up and down eating/exercising plans I've been "following" inconsistently for the last five years.) There must have been a tipping point and I think I reached it, and I tipped. Fell, more like?!

Something feels different this time?  Something feels like I actually want to be a more healthful person. Not just thin, like I was in college, but strong. I want to have the strength of mind to conquer my lazy, squishy body, the strength of soul to do it even when it's hard, and the strength of hundreds of muscles working together to carry me forward every single day for many years to come.

Part of it has to be the confluence of a desire to have children sometime in the next few years, and the need to possess a strong, flexible, healthy body to do so. 

Part of it must be the realization that with one year left in Cambodia, I'll never have this time in my life again, where I have a very self-driven work schedule and ample free time to more than just exist- and if I don't spend a little bit of time, every single day, trying to improve myself, I'm wasting it. 

Part of it was the last weeks spent with Paige and our talks in the pool and over dinner revolving around that same timeline we have for ourselves for babies, and families, and the few roads to happiness we're excited to take, and seeing her having used the last few months to build that strong, healthful body that can carry her across the finish line in a half marathon and look forward to do it again. 

And part of it is a plethora of fantastic inspiration of powerful blogging women, who remind me that it's never too late to become the muscular, fit woman that I was as a girl.

Whatever it is, its something I'm loving every minute of- every single drop of sweat, every single soaking sports bra I peel off after a good "run," every single second that I push my legs to carry me forward just one.step.more.

I've been keeping a daily log of sorts of how the first ten days have felt. I'll be back later today with that story, and tomorrow with the nutrition side of this personal revolution- because it's not just about the movement I'm making, it's also about what's powering my muscles to do so.

You with me?