The Martini Files: Dr. No

this picture has nothing to do with this post.

So, sometime in the last six months, I mentioned to Chris that I thought we should use our free time in the evenings (after the sun goes down at 6:30 and before we head to bed around 10:30) to do something completely awesome:

Watch every single Bond film every made, creating a scoring rubric against which we will evaluate each said film as we view it, and then share our likely variant male-female perspective.

Which is actually what it evolved into, if we're being honest.  The initial conversation was more like: "Dude, Skyfall was so good!  We should so watch every single Bond movie! And then rate them!"  I'm not entirely sure of his exact answer, but, I mean, it must have been a resounding yes because we're here now (that's how decisions between spouses go, right? total and complete mutual agreement of all ideas presented by yourself?).

And so.

A month or so ago, we watched the very first Bond film, Dr. No.  Then we watched From Russia With Love.  And then Chris told me I had to write about the first film before we could review any more.

So, without further ado, our commentary and rubric scores on Dr. No.

Dr. No

1962

with Sean Connery

Chris' Overall Review
It’s impossible to can Dr. No…it’s the original Bond flick and so many other movies follow its lead. From the “bloody gun sight” opening to the original Bond theme music, its legacy has endured until today. Still, any fan of Bond or the movie in general will be able to point out a few face palms…

First, the music. It’s really inopportune. Almost like that are over-asserting the fact that, this will be the Bond theme music for the next thirty years. At one point the Bond music plays when he picks up keys to his car: unnecessary.

The villain is amazing – ethnic, crippled (but stronger because of it) and wildly cryptic with his plans for global domination. So cryptic in fact, that I really didn’t understand it. Apparently, affecting the launch of a Moon-bound rocket is enough to control the world…go figure.

Also, and this is nitpicky, in the final action scene of the movie, you see Dr. No’s island blowing apart (because Bond overloaded his convincing nuclear reactor: basically a converted swimming pool) and you see HUNDREDS of people fleeing. HOW DID HE EMPLOY THEM? Think about it – so many people = vacation days, benefits, salaries and a huge HR department. I just don’t see the feasibility of supporting such an immense army of evil, from a financial perspective, without any real assets or cash cow. Bond SHOULD have just started a union, which would have bankrupt Dr. No.

Despite its antiquated flaws, Dr. No is an awesome movie. Its all there – Bond’s uncanny knack for getting out of impossible situations, his superhuman ability to detect subterfuge and misdirection and some pretty cool (green screen enhanced) chase scenes. Most importantly, it sets the franchise up for a long, long run…

Kate's Overall Review
I mean, I'll be honest.  At this point, I am just watching because of the awesome retro 60's clothes, Sean Connery's manly beast chest and accent, and because I said I would.  This first one was decent- if I'd read the books and been a fan, I'd have been really excited in 1962 to see this movie.  But, as a stand alone movie... it was decent.

They do hook you in immediately in the beginning with a murder! Oh my!  But the music is used terribly - seriously, the main theme used as he steps off a plane? Into a hotel room? But NOT during a car chase, or as he runs from the island that is about to nuclearly detonate? Um?

The highlights of this film were the firsts: the first utterance of "Bond. James Bond."  The first listen of that theme music we all know so well.  The first Bond girl.  The first, first, first.  But, I'm holding out for number two to see how they connect this back in and build on it. 

Rubric Scores:

Opening Sequence:
the original! some black dots and color swirls and then! the shot from the barrel of a gun. here we go!
Kate: 5
Chris: 3

Quality of Bond (Believability):
Kate: 8
Chris: 7

Quality of Bond (Swagger, Sexiness):
so, he did don a blue suit for the second half of the movie. a light blue suit. with matching shoes.
Kate: 7
Chris: 5

Quality of Bond (Actor):
i mean, it's sean connery.
Kate: 9
Chris: 8

Quality of Villain:
seriously, Dr. No is pretty pathetic.
Kate: 4
Chris: 6

Quality of Bond Girl (General: as a character in the film):
they meet each other because she is hunting for shells on the remote island of the villain?
Kate: 5
Chris: 3

Quality of Bond Girl (Sexiness, Boldness, etc):
her entrance will be used as the gauge for all others: climbing out of the ocean in a sand colored bikini.
Kate: 8
Chris: 8

Quality of Plot: 
Kate: 4
Chris: 2

Locations:
England and Jamaica.
Kate: 3
Chris: 3

Quality of Best Fight or Chase Scene:
some tires squeal. seriously.
Kate: 5
Chris: 3

Delivery of "Bond. James Bond." (Location, circumstance, etc.)
nothing compares to the original.  happens at a gaming table, while drinking a martini.
Kate: 10
Chris: 9

Q gadgets:
dude, all he gets is a new gun at the beginning?
NA

Car:
NA- Had a driver throughout film

Quality of Human Elements that Make Kate Want to Watch:
you know, i'm invested, i'm hooked, we'll see where this goes.
Kate: 7
Chris: NA

Bond Fail (biggest scene that detracts from the plot):
the music is used terribly! chris can't get over the blue suit.
Kate:  -5
Chris: -6

Bond Fail (Instances of sexism, racism, other -isms):
depiction of Jamaicans
Kate: -8
Chris: -3

Total Score:
Kate: 62 out of 140
Chris: 51 out of 130

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have you an opinion on james bond?