Monday, July 18, 2011

And suddenly it all becomes real

This may seem silly to some, but it really hit me today that Topher and I are actually, truly, really...

moving
to
another
country
for
over
two 
years.

That's approximately 800+ days; nearly 20,000 hours.  

A lot can happen in twenty thousand hours.  

This all hit me yesterday as we said goodbye to Topher's family.  It was as if all of the apprehension and excitement became sadness, with a twinge of worry.  The most bittersweet of feelings.

As I hugged Topher's little brother, it was sort of like that feeling that movies always describe that come with impending death- that whole idea of your life passing in a series of images and memories before your eyes.  Except this time, it was as though I could see the next two years of his life passing, in my absence.  I had to hold back the words "happy birthday" as I imagined him turning 21 without us there to help celebrate; "happy graduation" as I envisioned him walking across the stage, as we'll most likely miss his college graduation; "congrats!" as I saw him voting for the first time in a presidential election.  In the end, the seconds and images were gone, as I managed to eek out a simple "goodbye."

There's a lot of excitement and hope and exhilaration as we enter the last week in the U.S., but it's widely mixed with the love we have for our family and the entrenched pain we have in leaving them for two years.  I'm not looking forward to the next five days thinking about how much we already miss them, nor saying goodbye to my parents and Boomer on Friday.

Despite the heavy, it was a wonderful weekend with family- quite perfect, in fact.  Here's to more "lasts" for the time being, and a lot of packing!

9 comments:

  1. For once, I can say I completely understand this feeling, seeing as I have lived in Japan for the past 2 years. It is really hard to say good bye (to pets, too), and thinking about the things you might have to miss, or the people who might seem to forget you can be really painful. But you also get the amazing opportunity of living abroad, not as a study abroad student, but as an adult, supporting yourself, working hard, etc etc etc. It is simply wonderful. You get to make some fantastic friends you would have never ever met otherwise. In your case, you will be working with amazing people, I am sure, and you will be truly making a positive difference in peoples' lives, which will be gratifying in itself. So, yes, the goodbyes are impossibly hard, but in the end, starting with the very process of saying goodbye the result is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I know you and Chris will have an absolutely amazing experience. I look forward to reading about it in your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What an exciting new journey! Although I understand the bittersweet emotions in saying "bye for now".

    ReplyDelete
  3. i can't believe it! i'm so excited for you two, although saying goodbye (although just for now!) can be hard. eek!

    ReplyDelete
  4. How bittersweet, I can only imagine the amount of emotions you're going through.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is so exciting though. It's scary and hard, and you know how much you will miss your friends, but it's certainly the adventure of a lifetime!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I held it together during your last post, but now I'm crying. Sheesh, saying bye is so heartbreaking! Praying you'll have strength during the next five days.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You're honestly so brave, Kate! I don't know if I could move to another country for two whole years. Getting there will be hard but I'm sure you'll have a great time actually BEing there. Can't wait to read more about your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My hubby and I will be going through this as well, except in November and in the form of a military move, when we PCS to Hawaii for three years. I'm so ready for the next chapter of our lives to start, but the same time, it's incredibly bittersweet, like you described. We're going to miss out on so much, especially regarding our niece, who will be born just a few weeks after we leave. It's kind of difficult to imagine us being gone for so long!

    We're attempting to keep positive though, and I found a quote a few days ago that helps:

    “There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” — Anonymous

    I wish you and your husband the best of luck, and I hope to keep reading your blog throughout your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my gosh I can't believe it's almost here for you guys!! I can imagine how bittersweet it must be.. but for all the "lasts", there are going to be SO many more firsts and beginnings! And just think of how great it will be when you guys get back!

    ReplyDelete