for the record, hermione would be a fantastic middle name

so i just found this fantastic essay, written in response to a different essay, but most importantly, an essay that speaks to my very book-loving soul.

recently topher and i began a year long gin game (you know, you play with cards) that will culminate in a fantasmic trip to an imaginary prize counter of our creation.  we're keeping score for total points overall, total wins, number of wins over the other spouse, number of points over, etc.

essentially, we've allotted "points" to each of the categories and upon the conclusion of our year+ of gin games, we'll each have some points to spend at our self-devised prize counter.

what i'm most excited for? not trading in for a meal of my choice, prepared by chris, or an early morning dog walk, but this, a prize of my own creation:

one pregnancy/baby related decision.


in theory, i'd spend this on choosing where we'll have our child, or whether or not we find out it's sex, but i'm anticipating that we're actually on the same page when it comes to those things.

i'm going to save my decision for something i've always wanted:

the chance to give our children a middle name from literature.

chris, in his rational way, is adverse to this given that we've already decided to give our future children family middle names.  and, logically, he's against giving our children four names.

as are most of the people we've shared this debate with?! which lends me to wonder why i am friends with all of these rational, even-keeled people?! where are my passionate, overzealous friends that support decisions simply because they seem illustrious and different and exciting?! is it because i am too passionate/overzealous/different that any opportunity to friend these people was overshadowed my own huge personality? let's not answer that.


this all brings us around to the essay that was making the tumblr/internet rounds nearly a year ago, but which i just discovered and in my passionate, overzealous way fell head over heels in love with, and believe it to perfectly support my desire to give our children a literary name in line with their curious, meandering, unique future personalities, experiences and world perspectives.

so yes, i do believe that hermione is a perfect second middle name for our future daughter, and i've got two fantastic literary middle names picked out for future sons, one of which is actually from CHRIS' favorite books and resonates dearly with both of us.

thus, for my husband, who loves and hates my ability to disappear into a book, my incredibly-heavy handbag with a book always in tow, my pleading eyes as I silently ask for it to be ok to settle into my imagination and current novel on the long (and short) car trips...

and for those who question and misunderstand my long-windedness, my overthinking, my endless pursuit of adventure and uniqueness, my deep belief that josephine march, anne shirley, elizabeth bennett and even hermione granger are my sisters and friends and soulmates despite their lack of corporeality...

to all, i plead, read this, believe this, own this, know this.  and then understand me.

You should date a girl who reads.

by Rosemarie Urquico

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.