Gooey Goodness: An Ode to White Chocolate, the Fail Foodie Way

Ah, yes. The misadventures of one evening. It started out innocently enough.

I've been planning this for a whole two weeks. A WHOLE TWO WEEKS! It was going to be epic, and just turned into an epic fail (you saw that pop culture reference coming, didn't you?).

I wanted to make something romantic and pretty and fun and special for you to make said emotions course through the body of your love when you surprised them with some gooey goodness.  A gorgeous white chocolate mini cake with happy heart inside, and molten chocolate loveliness for your lovely.

Instead, I created two pretty decent cupcakes for a rainy day and one meh icing that is styling itself as buttercream (lies, all lies.)

I really sold y'all on it, didn't I? Ha.

How to disappoint your loved ones on Valentine's Day, in thirteen easy steps:

1. Mix your first batter, all smooshed up together.  No need to freak out, just smoosh it all together.  It'll be thick.

2. Realize that what you envisioned - these wonderful little cakes where, when you cut them open, you find a happy little heart - are impossible because a) you used all your red food dye up on red velvet cake some months ago and b) those lovely little heart cookie cutters you have ACTUALLY belong to darling mother and take up residence in her southern pantry.

3. Decide green is just as lovely as red, and far less overdone with this happy hallmark holiday. Separate out a third of your batter, dye it, and bake it.

4. Try and fail to cut out little hearts.  Realize what's more appropriate for declaring love that wonderful, simple circles to represent the way your love surrounds him? Also, using the cap of the new mustard is really easy.

5. Pop the little circles in the middle of the cupcake tin and surround it with batter. Bake.

6. Admire your handiwork.

This white cake is really so simple and quite delicious, especially when warm.  I made them into cupcakes, but I actually think it'd be far tastier as a basic sheet or double decker round cake.

All you need is sugar and flour, eggs, butter and vanilla.  Seriously.

Now move on to the bigger fail of the day.

6. Gather your ingredients for your second cupcakes.  Mix the eggs and sugar.

7. Melt your chocolate. Use your trusty double boiler that cost so much money. Or, is really a pan and bowl. Put your mixture aside.

8. Accidentally blend your eggs and sugar far too much. Oh the humanity.

9. Drink champagne because you realize this is about to be a disaster (say in that funny accident so it sounds like "theez eez about to beee a deezazter." Obvy.)

10. Combine the overbeaten egg/sugar mixture and melted chocolate and final ingredients.

11. Cook the required amount of time and squeal with delight when you think...oh wait, no, it didn't have molten center. Shite.  They were still delicious though- so moist and custardy and sweet and crispy on the edges.

12. Decide to redeem yourself with super fluffly frosting.

13. Forget to take a picture eating the frosting because it sucks so much.  If you like creamy, buttery buttercream, step away.  If you like airy, semi-sweet icing without a distinctive flavor, it's SO for you.  I tried adding some chocolate, but it still wasn't for me.  It was super easy though, so check it out.

Recipes here, and adapted from 500 Cupcakes by Fergal Connolly.