Growing up, I was certain of a few things.
One, that I was far cooler than my brother was and could ever be.
Two, that I was going to be the best children's writer the world has ever seen.
Three, that I would then become the best ever book-reader-that-chose-books-to-become-movies person.
Four, that I was to never be conceited (I learned how to spell this word in second grade and persevered evermore to not be this.) (I also tried to be authoritative. I succeeded. Three cheers for Kate!)
Oh, and five, that someday I would move to New York City to accomplish said things.
Taking stock of my life thus far, I'd say I'm mighty shit-ally at youth goals, with a 1.5/5. After my years as a teacher, I'm none to pleased with that average of 30%. That's failing, yo.
If you add in other things I was certain of - getting married after 27, when my career was established and I had no loans - I'm more than failing. I am the lowest in the class.
In eighth grade, I cried in Algebra when I got a 54 on a quiz. CRIED. In front of my crush. Snot, and tears, and clear mascara running down my face. CLEAR mascara people, running down my face. Crusty.
I don't like failing so I'm going to blame it on my parents. Isn't everything your parent's fault? Instead of paying a therapist thousands of dollars to tell me that it was because of how I was raised, I'll skip that ho hum drama and just recognize the truth: my parents raised an abrasive, authoritative, sort of conceited woman who would never move to New York. All completely logical to this point, yes?
Ok, for real though, I could care less about that whole when I got married thing (whatevs), and I could still write books and then become a professional book-turned-manuscript-creator (any day now, waiting for my famous character to walk into my brain while I sit at Elephant and Castle. STILL WAITING.) And I'll always be cooler than my brother. Der.
But New York? That's just a shame.
I was supposed to spend 3-5 years in my early 20's living it up in the boroughs of NYC, glitzing and glamming in heels, sporting sequin dresses, where a famous producer would discover me at the supermarket while I oh-so-nonchalantly was squeezing the cantaloupes for the perfect fruit, and cast me in the up and coming show for 20 somethings on NBC and I'd go on to be the next Meryl Streep (OBVY!)
This SO did not happen (parents!). Instead, I met Topher at 18, I moved to Baltimore, he bought us a house in suburbia, I moved in, and I realized...
I
am
never
going
to
live
in
New York.
I love living in the city. I love public transportation, my sweaty hands grasping the steel bars to hold on, laughing at the tourists who fight over seats, super conceited in my smashing style and iPod. I love deciding to walk down the street for dinner, or meandering around until we find some hole in the wall with the best dim sum ever. I love apartments and seeing young families wheeling their young kids around the museums on a humid Sunday afternoon in an attempt to stave off the insanity that comes from no public pools for blocks.
I'll likely never live in New York, or even in the heart of DC again.
I love living in suburbia. I love having my car, outside my house, whenever I want, with my numbered spot ready for me anytime (thanks, Toph!), smirking at those who complain about late buses or trains or taking cabs. I love not needing galoshes because I have a twenty step commute to my transportation, making my cute umbrella all just for show. I love finding the best family owned restaurants in our area, or driving around for an hour just passing the decision of where to go back and forth between us, until my low blood sugar hysteria leads us to WHATEVER FOOD SERVICE LOCATION IS CLOSEST DAMNIT BEFORE MY EARS EXPLODE AND I RIP YOUR EYES OUT WITH MY DEATH STARE AND STOMACH GROWLS. I love seeing the children playing on the swing set behind our house, especially our adorable neighbors with their sweet toddler in her snow boots, swinging with her gorgeous pregnant mom, pausing to touch her momma's belly every little while. I love having a public pool down the street, having a gym five minutes away and mostly I LOVE parking lots. Oh, parking lots, at CVS, at the super market, at the gym, at Denny's, how I love thee.
Besides, I'm totally going to get discovered next time Harrison Ford visits and decides to head up the Metro, to the end of the Red Line to get a taste of the local suburb flavor. I'll be swinging the cauliflower, with my adorable son (you know, the one I'll have someday) on my hip and my face flawlessly perfect without make up and my mussy ponytail effortlessly gorgeous, caught in a laugh. He'll see me and whisk my family back to California for my Meryl Streep path.
OBVY!
What are your thoughts on city vs. not city living?
I always dreamed of living in a big city too...but now that I'm an adult and actually have to drive and find parking in said city, I don't think I could ever do it. I love love love living in suburbia and I don't think I could ever have it any other way. I'll just visit the big city when I get the urge!
ReplyDeleteAh big cities. I've lived in many - Boston, Philadelphia, San Francisco and New Orleans...but never New York. New York always scared me. Now I live in the super populated Jersey Shore, suburbia on most accounts, and less than an hour from NYC and all I can think about is moving to the mountains, back to VT or even CO. The convenience of suburbia is great. But I miss the access to the great outdoors. Some day, hopefully sooner than later, I'll get back to mountain life. :)
ReplyDeleteCity! CityCitycitycitycity!! Ok I'm not quite that gung-ho about living in a city, but I do really really love it. I think where we live is a pretty good compromise. City amenities (public transportation, nearby restaurants, etc), but in a neighborhood with a park at the end of the street, and lots of parking (albeit parallel parking which I don't care about but some people find terrifying). I do sort of feel like you with NYC though - I'm not sure I'll ever truly live in a city again, I think from this age on you just end up moving farther and farther into the suburbs.... sigh.
ReplyDeleteI don't even want to know how I measure up to my elementary school goals. I remember getting a Brides magazine (in the 80s) and picking out MY dress. It was everything that was bad about the 80s. I was also supposed to be a famous vet by now, driving a chrysler lebaron.
ReplyDeleteAs far as cities go- I went to college in New York City which was awesome. Now I live in Houston and I love it. We live in the very heart of the city. And I have a car. And a garage (with accompanying house). And the gym, awesome grocery store, dog parks, etc. I think Houston is the best of both worlds, albeit a little on the ugly side.
Here's to finding what you really want in life.
you're hilarious! love the death stare. i love living in nyc and there are so many things that are great about the city (which you mentioned), but i don't plan on living in the city forever because i do want the things that you mentioned about the suburbs. mainly, space. we need more space. and a dishwasher. and space. did i mention space? i want space. space.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a post JUST like this a few months ago. I grew up just outside of NYC, went to college in Philly for dance, and was determined to move back to NY eventually and live the dancer's life in the big city. I mean, it wasn't even a question. I'm a city girl, a NEW YORK city girl at heart - always have been.
ReplyDeleteThen I graduated college. A month later, I met Scot. A year later, I moved to DC with him.
So there's that. I'm still trying to accept that NYC will never happen (nor the dance career.. different story!) but on the other hand, I'm still really happy where I am. Did I ever see this coming back when I was a kid, or in HS, or even college? Not at all. But life has a funny way of changing things up.
The point is, at least you're happy where you are right now, yes?!
We will miss you here in NYC. :) One thing I should say is that I feel like Sex and the City screwed up NYC for those of us who grew up here. It made people think that life here is about walking in high heels and shopping in fancy stores (I'm not saying that you think that, but I think many people do) when life in NYC can be quite different.
ReplyDeleteI am a very city oriented in part because I have an anxiety about driving. I actually talked about this on my blog a little. It is one of the few things in life that I honestly fear. Yes, I am a weirdo. Another thing keeping me here or attracting me to larger cities is racial and cultural diversity. Even in the NYC metro area, some of the nicer suburbs are relatively homogeneous. While I know that it is not a priority for everyone, both for myself and any possible future children, it's important that they experience people with different cultural background including that of me and my husband. Again, this isn't a priority for everyone, but it is for me.
I agree with Steph C that being happy where you are is the most important thing. You seem to be quite happy with your community, and I think that's the most important thing. :)
Here in Chicago there are pretty much two types of people; city people and suburbanites. The city people loathe the folks from the burbs and love to rant on and on about how lacking we are in culture, fine dining and intelligence for choosing to live anywhere but the FABU city! The suburbanites mock the snobby city people's arrogance and wonder how anyone could be so stupid as to pay so much more money for a tiny condo in the city when you could get a gorgeous house with way lower taxes in the 'burbs. We wonder why on earth they'd want to live in a dirty, crime ridden, stinking, overcrowded city and be harassed by homeless people crowding every corner when you could live in the spacious, sunny and much cleaner suburbs. By the way city people- the suburbs have fine dining too, and PLENTY of class and culture. Get over yourselves. ;-) Guess you can tell what side of the fence I'm on!
ReplyDeleteKate! I loved this post!! I totally dreamed of living in NY too! And, acting like I was Carrie from sex and the city, and the closest I came was living in boston. Then I moved to Dallas, and bought a car, and met Sean. Then I moved to Austin, bought another car, bought a house. got a good job. And now NY is in the rearview mirror and I'll never live there. So sad. But, I also appreciate the ease and convenience of living in Austin. My car, my laundry in my house, etc. They each have their perks. But I'm still sad about NY...
ReplyDeleteYou writing has gotten so wonderful lately!
ReplyDeleteI was going to be discovered walking accross the crosswalk because of my gorgeous strut in my beautiful high heels.
I was sure I was going to live in a city but then I ended up back in my hometown with a boy I went to high school with working at the family business, funny how that works out.
Oh, and if you ever write a book I'd like to request an advance copy.
Winston and I were just talking about this the other day. I've always wanted to live in NYC. We bought the house 6 months after I graduated college. I love our house but I do have a special little spot in my heart for city living.
ReplyDeleteSuch great thoughts! It's nice to know that others sometimes feel the same way. I'm content in my little corner of suburbia- just love thinking about the what ifs... :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I always considered myself a city girl. And growing up in a suburb 40 mins from NYC, I always thought that I would end up living in the city.
ReplyDeleteCurrently, I live in a urban area literally right across the river from Manhattan and while I would love to experience life in the city, the idea seems less and less appealing as my baby gets older. In addition, real estate prices in the city are just insane...if our condo were located in Manhattan, it would cost AT LEAST $1.5 million, and with almost all buildings in the city requiring at least a 20% down payment (many actually require 40%), that means we would need AT LEAST $300k just for the down payment. And as much as they say renting is better in NY, I don't want to shell out over $3,000 a month on rent.
Sorry about the rant on NYC real estate. But yes. As I get older, the less appealing NYC (and city life in general) becomes. Raising kids is so much easier in the suburbs.