I not a Mexican!

I was driving home last night, quite later than usual, after working thirteen straight hours, and Topher and I were doing our usual "how was your day" yadda yadda conversation on the phone.  My mind was tired and drifting and when he said, "what are you going to blog about tonight?"

The first thing that came to mind was that epic scene from Clueless where Cher explains to her housekeeper Lucy that the fire department needs the gardeners to clear out some area that's clearly a fire waiting to happen.  Lucy asks Cher "I don't know why you just don't talk to them."

Cher: "Lucy, you know I don't speak Mexican!"
Lucy: "I NOT a Mexican!" She slams down the citrus kitchen cleaner and storms out.

Cher, of course, was indignant, but that's not my point.  All I heard in my mind was "I NOT a Mexican!" as the answer for what I would blog about.

So here I sit, doing just that.

You're probably asking yourself, how in the hades is she going to bring this around to something that doesn't make me question my decision to click over to her blog?

Well, get excited.

Lucy was making a stand.  She's NOT Mexican! She's from El Salvador (and Cher gets pissed if anyone thinks she lives below Sunset), dammit.

Which got me to thinking (a dangerous thing to do, but the only thing when you're driving home and the only things on the radio are a very boring conversation about the Cole brother's influence on politics on NPR or Delilah on the adult contemporary station.)

There are a few things you just HAVE to take a stand on.  Some things simply require an opinion, a decision, a point of view.

I was afraid I would forget all of the brilliant topics I thought of that required a stand, so I took voice notes on my Blackberry. It was uber cool of me, yo. I was like a legit writer, up in my car, with my phone all taking down notes and shiz.

So, things you have to have an opinion on, a yes or no, a this one or that one:

• Coca Cola or Pepsi Cola
• Coffee
• Running for enjoyment or exercise or for any reason other than to escape a mass murderer.
• Having kids (preferably before you are already, ahem, pregnant.)
• City vs. Country
• The Keynesian Model
• Manual or automatic
• Glee
• Country music
• The value of majoring in philosophy (zing, Topher!)
• Salad
• The value of having a firm opinion or stance about certain topics
• Using your car horn to let other drivers know HOW YOU FEEL, A HOLES!
• Thong underwear

And, then dear friends, there are certain topics that I think people can have wavering opinions on, that can change over time or based on experiences or mood.

• Religion and/or spirituality. If you end up wanting your child to be baptized, it's probably a good idea to remove that "atheism rocks!" bumper sticker from your car.
• Politics. Over time, you might find that you look better in blue over red, or vice versa. Adjust accordingly.
• Sexuality.  It was college, I know.
• Salad.  Why is that when I chop up the lettuce and tomatoes it is far less delicious than when a restaurant does it for me?

Ok, I'll stop.  This entire post was in jest, so please don't take offense.  I know nobody speaks Mexican, and I know that you don't decide on your politics or religion based on ridiculous things.  It's hump day, so I thought we all might need a giggle. No? Oh, well please still come back tomorrow.