Tuesday, December 20, 2011

self censorship

today, for the first time in cambodia, i cried.  not great heaving sobs, but frustrated, down trodden dribbles of tears for about five minutes.

i was trying to go for a "never crying in cambodia" jag, but today, it just couldn't be helped.

but let's talk about the saddest thing that crossed my mind in my lowest moments of frustration.  i contemplated actually posting a facebook status lamenting the non-arrival of three boxes from our family that were mailed weeks ago, the impending arrival of a holiday without our family, and my deep aching soul related to both.

but i didn't.  i couldn't.  i could not let myself succumb to the ridiculous oversharing that my generation seems to deem necessary to exist.

in fact, just this weekend, i actually had to unfollow someone on twitter because in the once monthly twitter log ins i do from my new country, i actually could not stand her bitter, lamenting comments on just how horrible, sad, and unfair her life was.

i've also "un-subscribed" from friend type people on the fbook as well for their constant bemoaning.  i'm sorry you have a headache. again. and that it's raining. again.  and that dunkin donuts didn't have your flavor of sweetener today.  i'm just really, really sorry.

so, i've decided that what i'd like for christmas is a little self censorship.  what say ye, children of the 80's? let's go with it.

eta: it seems that twenty three percent of people also agree that depressing comments is a good reason to unfriend someone on fb!  check out this huffington post article!

11 comments:

  1. Aww :( Having a crummy day when it's near the holidays AND you're ridiculously far away from family is down right rotten. I'm sorry.

    I'm an over-sharer on FB on Twitter, but it's therapeutic for me. I like to think that when I gripe it's usually something military related or missing family (from being far away), and I like hearing that I'm not alone and that other people are experiencing or have gone through the same thing.

    That said, I've unfriended and stopped following people for pretty much the same reasons.

    i hope you get your packages!

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  2. I was having dinner with one of my college friends, who just got back from 3 months in Panama, this weekend. While she was gone she started blogging and I sent her your blog and a few others -- people I knew who were traveling. I know this is a small thing compared to everything. We were chatting about you like you were our neighbor or something. My college friend is probably one of the only people who I know that has been away from her family since we started college together, and I always think she is super strong and amazing for it. I think the same about you. A million times over.

    Wish you and your hubs the best holiday! Hugs!

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  3. I feel you on the package disappointment. 2 of the three boxes we were supposed to receive are being held hostage in customs and there's no telling when we might get them.

    More than that though, I'm sad that we won't be spending our holiday with family. It sucks. Don't feel bad for shedding a few tears over it because holidays + family just go together, and it can be hard without them. Hope those packages arrive & you feel better!

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  4. Just let me tell you that how sad you are about the boxes not arriving is exactly how sad your families are that they haven't arrived as well. When I mailed my brother's boxes to Korea last Christmas, it was an eternity (for me) until they arrived. I was so concerned with the boxes I had so lovingly purchased and packed, I couldn't wait for them to arrive. That being said, remember that there are so many of us here pulling for you and Chris - and while the bad days seem awful now, they'll be nothing when you look back on this amazing experience!

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  5. I couldn't agree more. I have a dear friend who I have actually had to cut myself off from on FB because on the daily basis it's "my life is so tough." She has beautiful children. Her husband AND her are both well employed. However, life is tough because of this and that. It pains me. I understand that it's a free country and you can say what you want, but to me, as a military wife, who's husband deploys for 14 months at a time every other year, I don't complain, because I always know it could be worse. I applaud you for staying strong. And admire.

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  6. I think there's also a stigma to posting GOOD things. (On blogs, or on facebook.) It's like, if something nice happens in your life, you're bragging. But if something bad happens, you're being a selfish complainer (because your bad things aren't as bad as someone else's bad things). SO what then, do we do? We can just say how we feel, but generally that's either bad, or good. I really don't know the answer. I have both types of people in my facebook feeds though, so I absolutely know what you're talking about.

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  7. I totally get ya! I had to de-friend, both on FB and Twitter and in real life, a friend that was just so angry, all of the time. 100% anger spewing from her constantly was starting to make me feel angry too. I don't need residual anger! Crap, she has a pretty good life, I don't even get why she's so full of hatred for it.


    I do hope your packages eventually arrive! And it's okay to be sad about it and not spending the holidays with your family, I would too!

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  8. I commend you for unfriending those kind of people! Yeah, life can get tough, but they don't need to air it out on social networking.

    Dry your tears my love, you have a wonderful hubby to spend the holidays with and will be back home with your family soon enough. :)

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  9. I have hidden so many of my friends for this very reason. I would like to add anyone that uses the phrase 'FML' gets immediately deleted. Because it usually the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Try having some real problems.

    I hope you have a wonderful Holiday. I can't imagine being so far from home and everything familiar!!

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  10. Good for you, Kate! I think you have to. Bitterness, even if it's something minor, is overwhelming, so it's nice to get rid of it. I still hope your packages arrive soon, though. :)

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  11. No I didn't just go check my Twitter and FB feeds to see if you were still following/my friend and if I've been upbeat lately. Definitely not. {glances away}
    I'm impressed you unfollowed someone on Twitter. There are several people I would LOVE to unfollow because their constant woe-is-me updates make me want to wring their necks and slap them with the good things in their life. But I don't, because I don't want them to hate me. Even though I don't know them. At all. Hmm.

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